The Shinigami and the Shinobi
by Chipmunk Slayer
Summary: Two hyper-active teenage girls suddenly find themselves in the world of Naruto. Then, the Akatsuki finds them. What's the worse that could happen? Contains language and violence, as well as a LOT of randomness! CRACK.
1. Where the Heck Are We?

**This chapter is brought to you by:** School being cancelled! Our school got flooded, so we got the afternoon off and wrote this ^-^

**Disclaimer: **We don't own Naruto, unfortunately. Or shinigami. I own myself and an xbox box. Linda owns herself and all my stuff (long story).

**NOTE: **This story was written by both **chockitta** and **Chipmunk Slayer**; and this used to be listed on the former user's account. We both agreed it should be moved to this account; so please do not flame Chipmunk Slayer for plagiarism. This was a decision by both authors, okay?

Now that we have that out of the way, we hope you enjoy!

Oh yeah, and this has some minor references to Death Note. There isn't much, so we didn't list it as a cross-over. Just so you know…

* * *

"Hey, wouldn't it be cool if this swing-set was haunted?"

"No fudging way! Don't jinx it baka!" Linda yelled, punching my arm.

"Owie! Come on, it's not like that would ever happen and anyway- woah. Since when was there a forest here?"

Linda looked, falling off the swings and landing in the mud. I started laughing.

"Meanie! Shut up and help me up!"

"DMY."

"What does- HEY! That's gross!"

"You said it to me first."

"Whatever" Linda replied, brushing mud off her. I handed her a teddie bear.

**(Fiona: Hey I didn't say that!**

**Linda: Too bad. You made me type this!**

**Fiona: I didn't! You wanted to ^-^**

**Linda: Back to the story or people will get angry and kill us with teddies!)**

I handed her a TISSUE. **(Code name for teddy bear ^^) (not)**

SUDDENLY, a tall cloaked figure approached us with weird red eyes and asked:" Do you know where the Naruto world is? "

"Yeah, we go there at weekends," I replied sarcastically. "Of course we don't know where it is! We'd totally be there if we did."

"Congutu." **(That's the camp way of saying congratulations )**

**(Mysterious cloaked figure: I did not say that! Yaoi put words in my mouth!**

**Fiona: *snickering* We're authors, it's what we do.**

**Linda : BACK TO THE STORY PLEASE PEOPLE! FOR FUDGE'S SAKE!)**

"Congratulations, your wish has been granted," He replied sarcastically.

'OMG, you're a fairy?" Linda exclaimed. Suddenly, 'Mr. Sandman' started playing, and we both started crazy-dancing.

The mysterious cloaked figure just stared at us.

Suddenly, he put his hands on his hips and in a girly voice exclaimed "You did NOT just go there. Uh-huh!" He licked his finger and pressed it on his hip, making a sizzling sound.

We both stared, before bursting into simultaneous laughter.

"OMG, I LOVE BEING AN AUTHOR!" Linda gasped, in between laughs then whispered to me " I CAN TYPE EXCLAIMATIONS MARKS. AND I WANNA GO TO THE ANIME WORLD AND YA HUH, I CAN WHISPER IN UPPER CASE."

"Yeah, sure you can. On a completely different matter, I think that guys from the Akatsuki." **(Only we pronounce it Akat-soo-kee. We know it's not the right way, but you'll find out why we do :P)**

"Actually, I believe it's pronounced Akat-ski." The crazy dude from the Akatsuki stated.

Linda glared at him. "This is the COOL way to pronounce it."

"Really? Hmm, let me try. Akat-soo-kee."

We both stared at him for several moments before I replied, "Nope. Sorry dude, you just ruined it."

"MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!"

The next thing I knew, I was chained to a cross, with Linda watching and eating popcorn.

"Hey, what the hell? Um...RAPE IS A CRIME YOU KNOW!" I yelled randomly.

He rolled his (camp) eyes before pulling out a katana to stab me with. I started to panic, before realising my only form of defence. I suddenly began to sing the Sponge-Bob Squarepants theme at the top of my voice. The weird guy stabbed me anyway. Oh well, it was worth a try.

-72 hours of pain later- (which was only a second in the real world.)

I fell to my knees, coughing up blood. And burst out laughing.

"Hn. You're nearly dead, and you still laugh? Fool." Itachi **(come on, you should have worked it out by now)** drawled, emotionless as always.

Snickering, I replied; "I made you go blind sooner!"

Then I passed out...

* * *

(Fiona: I know it wasn't that funny! But for pete's sake, I was nearly dead! You laugh at random things when your suffering from mass blood loss :P

Linda: Wow, that almost sounded smart!

Fiona: Thanks, I read it on the internet ^-^

Linda: -_-')


	2. Parties and Ice Cream

**This chapter is brought to you by:** Teen boredom. The summer holidays have just started and we have nothing to do.

**Disclaimer: **We don't own Naruto. We own ourselves, and we joint-own Mike. He's based on a real chicken from history (google it), but we changed him a bit. And this Mike is a lot bigger.

* * *

"I know how to save you! Drink back your blood." Linda informed me cheerily.

"WHAT THE HELL?" I yelled, springing into an upright position.

"Just do it already!" Linda snapped, glaring at me. **(Apparently Linda doesn't snap, but I beg to differ ^^) (Ow she punched me! T-T)**

Itachi glared at me. So I glared back. And we stayed in mutual, um...glaringness for awhile. Then he blinked and stood up.

I grinned, "I win!"

Linda started to strangle me, and yelled "ME WON, NOT YOU. LIAR!"

"Ow OW! Fine you win!" I gasped, trying to pry her hands from my neck.

"Violence will kill you!" Linda smirked at me.

Itachi just shook his head at our randomness. 'What the hell did I do to deserve this...' He wondered, sighing inwardly.

"You kidnapped us, jerkwad. And it's only gonna get worse from here." I sighed happily, and took out a muffin.

"Did he kidnap us?" Linda asked.

"Well, I assume so. He did put us in a bag."

"Oh, right. I thought we were going to a picnic."

"Yeah, 'cause people usually knock you out and put you in sacks when you're going to a picnic," I replied sarcastically.

"A SURPRISE picnic."

"Oh. Okay then. Itachi, why are you still here?"

Itachi shrugged. "Just so you two could reap the benefits of having my awesome presence near you."

I stared at him. "That was so OOC."

"YOU PERV!" Linda screamed, pointing a finger at Itachi.

Itachi just shook his head and walked off, wondering how I read his mind earlier.

**(Me: MWAHAHAHA I am so awesome!**

**Linda: *punches me* shut up and get back to the story!)**

As soon as he was out of sight, we threw a massive party in celebration of his leaving. Unfortunately, he came back 5 minutes later. And he was not a happy bunny.

"Why am I back? I thought I was going to get ramen..."

"It's Fiona's fault. She made you come back. I was enjoying my party, there's no booze but I'm still a happy kitty."

"Whatever. I'm going now," He glared at me "And DON'T make me come back this time." He walked off. (Again)

And just as I was about to call him back, Linda choked me. Because she's like that.

"Not my fault, if you provoke me. I love violence, anyway."

Linda began to choke me with her snake as her hands were tired. Soon my face was bright red from lack of oxygen. She stopped 5 minutes later, as an ice-cream van appeared.

"ICE-CREAM, GET YOUR ICE-CREAM HERE-" Mike's* calls were cut off though, as Linda wrote his name in her awesome shinigami-notebook...

* * *

*Mike the human-sized chicken

I know it's short T-T. But the next chapter is longer, I promise!

P.S. For those who don't know, if you write some-one's name in a Shinigami notebook, they die XP

It's in Death Note…


	3. Stalkers and Coffee

**This chapter is brought to you by:** My Simple Plan CD finally arriving! I ordered it over a week ago and it finally got here.

**Disclaimer: **We don't own Naruto. We kinda own Mike.

* * *

Suddenly Mike's head popped off, and Linda began laughing hysterically.

Mike's wings started flapping.

"He wants to talk but he can't. Linda, this is all your fault." I said, stroking the giant chicken.

"Okay then, I'll do something." She declared, brushing her dark hair out of her eyes.

A few minutes later, she appeared with pens and rubbers, and started to draw on Mike's body. Out of nowhere, 'Macho Man' started playing. As soon as the face was finished, Mike somehow started talking.

"What the heck? I want my head!"

"It was Fiona's fault." Linda stated.

"Was not." I stuck my tongue out at her.

Linda started laughing "You look so stupid when you do that."

Mike sat down and sulked for awhile, while Linda and I dissolved in the darkness to get ice-cream from his van. I started to panic.

"When did it get dark? Where are we? How did we get here? How are we going to get ho-" I was interrupted by my best friend, who started choking me.

"Stop asking so many questions!"

In real life Linda isn't the interrupter. Suddenly, Itachi came in, completely of nowhere, because he likes to do that.

"Fiona, stop making come back! Or I'll have to kill you again."

"You couldn't even manage it the first time, what makes you think you can do it now?"

Itachi started choking me, but was pulled off by Linda.

"Stop choking her! That's my job."

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll strangle her instead."

And so he did. Or he was just about to when...

"Wait, aren't they the same thing?" Linda asked suspiciously.

"Well, we'll soon find out." Itachi replied; just before Mike sat on him. Still sulking, he exclaimed: "Stop choking her and give me a head!"

Suddenly, inspiration hit, and I grinned evilly. "I know! We'll give him Itachi's head!"

"Awesome! I'll get my tools, then." Linda came back a few seconds later, carrying her magical bag of tools.

"Linda, why do you look like a surgeon?" I asked, nervously eying the bag.

"'Cause I'm awesome, that's why."

I shrugged. "Fair enough. Anyway, Mike can you hold Itachi down? We'll cut his head off for you."

Mike grinned. Or he would have, only he doesn't have a head so...

"Oh, one minute." I placed a pair sunglasses over Itachi's eyes. "There. Now we don't have to look at him!" **(Haha, I bet you thought it was so he couldn't use his sharingan on us.)**

Linda started to cut his head off with a machete she took from her bag, and gazed with blood thirsty eyes, as the scarlet liquid spilled out of his neck. Once she was finished, I gingerly picked up his head and placed in it a bag, tying it up with a cruel grin on my face. Mike started to get scared as he thought things through, he didn't want Itachi's head, it was so ugly!

"On second thoughts, I don't want his head." Mike said, backing away.

Itachi's arms started waving crazily.

"Whoa, we'd better cut those off too." I smirked, taking out a knife.

"Yeah, we can sell them on eBay!" Linda replied enthusiastically.

I quickly swapped roles with Linda, so I had the knife. **(Ooh, big knife. Shiny!) **I started to cut his arms off with great difficulty since they were waving around so much. Eventually, I just held the knife in mid-air and waited for his arms to swing into it. It was pretty gory. Not to mention fun!

Linda collected the bodiless arms and placed them in the bag, along with his head.

"Hey, Itachi, now you have someone to talk too!" I teased.

"But they can't talk back," he sobbed.

I started to laugh and so did Linda.

"I love being a murderer! It's much fun when you're killing stuff and not getting killed." Linda yelled.

"Yeah...maybe that's why we like Left 4 Dead so much..." I pondered. "Who cares anyway, why don't we just steal Itachi's ring and take his place in the Akatsuki?"

Itachi sniffled. "I care."

"Shut up jackass, nobody asked you."

"Actually, you did..."

I glared at him. Or the bag...whatever.

We started to leave, while Mike was stalking us.

"Fiona, cheese is following us. So coffee mouse. Do you have a map to the Akatsuki base?"

"Course I do, it's eh...here somewhere." I looked in my imaginary rucksack, the one with the headless bunny.

"You sure like headless pets." Linda said dryly, raising an eyebrow.

I ignored her and continued my search. Eventually, I sighed in defeat, "I can't find it, but I'm sure my awesome navigating will get us there."

- 5 hours later-

"WHERE THE HECK ARE WE?" Linda screamed.

"HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?" I yelled back.

"Oh I don't know... maybe because you're the FREAKIN' NAVIGATOR!"

I stared at her. "Wow, was that sarcasm?"

"Yes it was. Was that?"

"No."

"Good."

"I know where to go!" Mike exclaimed suddenly.

"Why didn't you fudging say that then you fudging fudgecase!" Linda yelled, without turning around.

"Coffee mouse. I think we should jelly cheese sometime."

"Later, when we are in the Akatsuki base. Okay?"

"Yay! Jelly the fudging cheese with the whipped cream!" I cheered.

"Subtly..."

Mike glared at us, with his drawn-on-eyes.

"Are we talking about me? And what does 'coffee mouse' mean?"

"Course we're not talking about you, we're talking about a mouse. That likes to drink coffee." I stated, in a matter-of-fact-way.

"You like coffee?" Mike asked excitedly.

I shook my head, "No-"

Suddenly, Linda started choking me with Gai (my pillow) and explained, "You were asking for it."

Once she was finished, I yelled: "HE IS NOT MY FREAKIN' PILLOW! THAT SOUNDS SO PERVY!."

**(I have a totally pwnsome pillow and Linda was jealous of it, so she called it Gai and mocks me with it. After she typed that though, I started hitting her with a dictionary ^_^)**

"Argh, stop hitting me with your book!" Linda screamed.

Mike just stared at us, thinking we were crazy.

Suddenly, the she-male of the Akatsuki came out and exclaimed: "Hey danna was right, un; those kids really are insane."

But he couldn't say any more because Linda whacked him with my book.

"Hey! That's my book, you're ruining it!" I exclaimed.

"It's Deidara's fault. AKA he-she." Linda says innocently.

Deidara glared at us. But just as he was about to speak, I glomped him.

"WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU A FANGIRL OR SOMETHING?"

"Or something." I replied calmly as I jumped off him. "I just felt like glomping someone, and you were right in front of me so..."

Everyone stared at me.

"Hey, at least it stopped you two arguing!" I said defensively, placing my book back in my rucksack.

"At least I don't act that childish..." Linda said.

"Whatever."

Linda searched in her pocket, her face lighting up when she found what she was looking for. It was a book with *Death note* written on it. Mike and Deidara backed away. I stepped forward, chuckling at their cowardly faces and asked "What's that?"

"Well, the Death note has something to do with your answer. I am officially a Shinigami as I love killing stuff." Linda said with glee.

"Well, I want to be a female shinobi!"

"We could partner up and take over the anime world!"

"Awesome!" I said with a smile.

* * *

TRANSLATIONS

Coffee mouse: Don't look round.

Jelly: Kill

Cheese: Stalker

The Whipped Cream: … Okay, that doesn't really have a meaning. That's just me being random, as usual :D

Reviews are greatly appreciated!


	4. Emoness

**This chapter is brought to you by:** Teenage Embarrassment.

Linda mentioned The Village People when we were walking to my house, so I started singing 'Macho Man' and then this fat guy walked past us. It was embarrassing -_-'

Linda: But hilarious!

**Disclaimer: **We don't own Naruto, etc. We own the kamooshka though.

* * *

"Why does everyone hate me?" Fiona was being emo, and so was sitting in the emo corner. Sasuke had locked himself in the airing closet, because Fiona had kicked him out of his corner.

"I don't hate you," Linda said comfortingly. " I just want to kill you."

"Hey! Why do you want to kill me anyway? You're my best friend!"

-THE REASON WHY LINDA WANTS TO KILL FIONA -

-Flashback-

One day in Fiona's house, when Fiona was downstairs (getting us drinks) the hedgehog of doom, Chuckles (who, by the way, was born in October of 2004 and has a very small knife hidden in his spikes for insurance) told Linda that: "I bet that I will kill Fiona before you do."

"WTF? YOU F*CKING FUDGING PIN CUSHION! I WILL KILL HER BEFORE YOU DO. IT'S VERY OBVIOUS, YOU ********************" Linda yelled.

NOW IT'S TIME FOR: "GUESS THAT SWEAR WORD!" FIRST UP IS FIONA.

"Um..."

"NOPE. NEXT!"

"But-"

"ALSO WRONG. NEXT! There's no-one else...so send in your entries!"

-Flashback Over-

Itachi answered "'Cause everyone else is cunning except you!" And he walked off. "And you make me walk off all the time! And shouldn't I get a raise?"

"NO FUDGING WAY!" Fiona yelled.

"AND WHY THE HELL DO YOU SAY FUDGING ALL THE FUDGING TIME?"

**(Itachi : I didn't say that!**

**Linda: Yes you did! I'll get my lawyer to sue you!)**

"Because it's awesome, that's why." Fiona took out a giant bar of fudge, and was about to give it to Linda when...Linda started mocking her. So she gave it to Deidara instead.

"You gave it to the he-she? I'm so insulted; this is the worst thing ever!"

**(She's not even being sarcastic…)**

Fiona stuck her tongue out at Linda and ran behind Deidara as hundreds of kunai suddenly came flying towards her. But just as Linda was about to kill Itachi (again) a giant kamooshka started to attack her.

* * *

Will Linda get her fudge? Will Fiona survive all the cunningness? And what the heck is a kamooshka? Find out in the next chapter of "The Shinigami and the Shinobi"!

**(Fiona: Yay! We did a cliffhanger! *Hi-fives Linda* I hate cliff-hangers, but who cares? We tortured the audience!**

**Linda: So does Francis. Now they will come after us with pitchforks and flaming torches! *gasp* let's bring marshmallows!**

**Fiona: Mmmm marshmallows... And don't ask how Itachi came back to life. He just did, because he sucks like that. Just die already! *stabs Itachi***

**Linda: Here comes the depression... See ya in the next chapter...and review please!)**


	5. The Kamooshka!

**This chapter is brought to you by** - My Xbox Gold Membership expiring today :( now we have no online multiplayer privileges *sniffle*

**Disclaimer: **We don't own Naruto, we own the kamooshka.

* * *

_Recap: Fiona went emo, gave Deidara some fudge, was mocked by Linda and was not cunning like everyone else in this story (So far). Deidara was used as a human shield and Linda was attacked by a giant kamooshka._

* * *

"NOOOO!" Fiona screamed, leaping onto the kamooshka's back and tackling it to the ground in slow motion. Unfortunately, (since she was doing it in slow motion) the kamooshka saw her coming and moved out of the way. So Fiona ended up with a mouth-full of dirt (which was not tasty) and a bruised knee (which was painful).

Fortunately for Linda, this had distracted it, so she leapt onto its back and began to eat it. Because a kamooshka is a (very tasty) cookie monster!

– 5 MINUTES LATER –

The kamooshka was gone and Linda was sipping on a can of diet coke.

"Where's the kamooshka?" Deidara pondered. He didn't ponder for long, as at that precise moment, Linda kicked him in the nuts and took back her fudge, hi-fiving Fiona on the way. Because she's cool like that.

**(Linda: Thank you. I know ^_^**

**Fiona: *rolls eyes* and so modest too...**

**Linda: *mock slap***

**Fiona: Well, since that wasn't a painful slap, I'm okay. *goes back to typing*)**

So there was a happy ending.

* * *

– END OF FANFIC –

* * *

NOT. We're not dead yet! ;)

See y'all in the next chapter!


	6. Mr Froggy!

**This chapter is brought to you by**: Ice-skating! We went today and it was fun =)

**Disclaimer: **We don't own Naruto, we own ourselves and the kamooshka.

* * *

_Recap: Linda killed the kamooshka, took back her fudge, kicked Deidara in the nuts and was cool. Deidara got his fudge stolen by Linda and was kicked in the nuts. Fiona was hi-fived and distracted the kamooshka._

* * *

At that precise moment, Pein came out. Just in time to see Linda kick Deidara...well- you know where.

He glared at us for a moment. "Okay. Who are you, and what the HELL are you doing to Deidara?"

"We could ask you the same question." I said, narrowing my eyes. Soon they were so narrow, they were closed. Alarmed, I opened them again.

"Jeez, I really need to learn the difference between narrowing my eyes and blinking in slow motion..."

Pein stared at us as Linda punched my arm.

"Owie T-T"

Linda ignored me and turned to Pein. "So, your name is Pee-ing, right?"

Pein's eye twitched. (And not because of a fly) "No. My name is Pay-in. Simple. Peeeeiiiiinnn."

"NO. YOUR NAME IS NOW PEEING. THAT IS THE CORRECT GRAMMER FOR IT." Linda said matter-of-factly. "It's the law."

**(Me: Oooh, Linda has angered another Akatsuki member ^^'**

**Linda: Why are they angry? They need to learn that the truth hurts.**

**Me: Yeah. And Itachi needs to learn some manners...)**

Pein exploded. "MY NAME IS PEIN BITCHES!"

Linda's eyebrow rose up and looked at me and took something out of her invisible bag. Out popped a froggy with smart glasses. The froggy looked annoyed as Linda picked him up by his collar.

"I TOLD YOU BEFORE, LEAVE ME ALONE!" Mr Froggy shouted.

**(Me: Linda, have you been kidnapping frogs again?**

**Linda: Yes, why? **

**Me: -_-' never mind...)**

Linda ignored Mr Froggy's rhetorical screaming. (If you can have a rhetorical question, you can have a rhetorical screaming)

"Mr Froggy, Is it pee-ing or Pay-in?" Linda asked.

Mr Froggy sighed and washed his glasses with his handkerchief (he is very smart), and said

"As always, you are wrong, Linda. It is pronounced Pain. Whoever has that unfortunate name has horrible parents. Can I go home now? I was in the middle of playing golf with the Queen of Spain. And she isn't, as you quote, a happy bunny with me."

Linda looked emoful **(another word of our own)** and took Mr Froggy back into the invisible bag.

I patted Linda on the back consolingly. "Just ignore him. Frogs don't know anything. Hey you wanna play Left 4 Dead? That always cheers you up."

Linda sniffed "Yes."

I turned to Pein "Do you have an xbox 360?"

"No."

I glared at him. One of my really creepy glares that sends children running screaming. Unfortunately, it seems to only work on little children, as Pein just glared back. While he was distracted, I swiftly landed my fist where it hurts. Pein doubled over, in Pain. Linda snickered at the pun. There was a muffled whine from the bag with Itachi's head in it.

"I don't get it."

I kicked the bag. "Shut the hell up, asshole. No-one asked you."

Linda stared at me and gasped, "You swore!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did! Everyone heard you!"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, I swore. Happy now?"

"Nope," Linda punched my arm. Again.

"Ow." I turned back to Pein. "Now," I asked sweetly "Do you have an xbox 360?"

Pein glared at me. Or he tried to, but he was still doubled over. So he just looked like mole-man in the Simpsons when he gets hit by a soccer ball. I giggled at the memory, and told Linda (she saw that episode too) and we both started laughing. Then Pein tried to glare at us, which just made us laugh more.

"Yes. We have an xbox. But Kisame owns it, so no-one plays."

"Oooohh! Perfect! The controllers will have full batteries" I jumped up and down in the air, clapping my hands. I glanced over at Linda, who was still in the emo corner. "Come on! Left 4 Dead!"

Linda sniffed, then said, old army movie style; "No, go on without me."

I kneeled beside her, with tears in my eyes "No! I can't leave you..."

"If you cry, I will slap you."

I blinked and the tears were gone. Just then a light bulb appeared over my head, and I took a cookie out of my pocket, tying a string onto it.

Linda's eyes widened at the cookie, and she obediently followed as I backed into the Akatsuki base, towards salvation...and a blue shark-man...

* * *

Me: Yay! Another cliff-hanger. Review or you won't find out what happens... *scary music plays*

(Linda is too traumatised to speak, she hasn't played l4d for a whole day...we wrote this instead of playing it, so enjoy it! ;) )


	7. Left 4 Dead to the Rescue!

**Chapter 7 brought to you by:** Us being able to watch Naruto while we type =D

(Linda is smart, we have a 50-50 split screen now; half Naruto and half notepad XD)

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Naruto, or any of the characters. We own Mike, but we don't own shinigami notebooks and their awesome powers.

* * *

Kisame glanced up from the TV screen, tapping the START button to pause the game he was playing. (Call of Duty 5, he was only a few levels away from completing the game, and unlocking the Nazi Zombie level before Sasori did).

He was sure he had heard something... Shaking his head, he turned back to the game. Maybe playing for 27 consecutive hours wasn't such a great idea after all... he was starting to imagine things. Soon the screen was filled with gunfire and good ol' violence again.

A few minutes later, his head snapped round. There was definitely someone around. There was a soft click, which sounded suspiciously like the living room door closing. Kisame squinted in the darkness; the room was pitch black apart from the small circle of glow from the TV.

Suddenly, two teenage girls stepped into his vision, the pale blue light giving them an intimidating appearance. Simultaneously they chanted:

"Hello Mister Fishy Man."

Kisame stared at them and sweat-dropped when they started laughing. Silently, he grabbed Samehada and stood up menacingly. The taller of the two girls straightened up and cleared her throat, flicking her long dark bangs out of her eyes, before looking up to meet his eyes.

"Um, Kisame-san, can we use your xbox please? It's an emergency."

Kisame glared at her.

"No."

The girl's eyes narrowed, and they appeared to darken slightly.

"I said, this is an EMERGENCY. My friend here is going to DIE if she doesn't play Left 4 Dead soon."

"Why do I care?"

Her eye twitched.

"Because if you don't let us, I will have to kill you. And no-one wants to see that."

Kisame snickered,

"Sorry, I don't fight little girls."

Suddenly, the girl was gone, and a few seconds later, she had jumped on his back and wrapped her legs around his waist before pressing a kunai against his neck.

Softly, she murmured, "What did you call me?"

Kisame was so shocked it took him 3.67529 seconds to respond. When he did, he threw her off his back. Unfortunately, the girl just clung on tighter, pressing the kunai further into his neck. Suddenly, she leapt off of his back and swiftly landed her foot where it hurts. Kisame coughed, and doubled over from the pain in his vital parts.

The girl smirked.

"Can we use your xbox now?"

Kisame glared at her. Or he tried to anyway. The girl started laughing again, and turned to her companion.

"Hey Linda, it's like Pein all over again!" The girl snickered. Kisame was alarmed to see that her hair was spiked up like a chicken's ass at the back; despite her straight chin-length bangs at the front.

The girl he assumed was Linda lay like a lifeless fish on the floor, next to all the other lifeless fishes. (omg!)

"Give me the xbox." She whispered.

Kisame stared as the girl snapped into action; quickly sliding one of the straps from her rucksack down her arm, and grabbing the zipper with her free hand. Panicking, she yanked out a slim green box, with a picture of a hand missing a thumb on the front. She scrambled over to the xbox and pressed the eject button before Kisame could stop her.

He stared in disbelief as COD5 disappeared from the screen, soon to be replaced by an image of a chunky man with a bald head. There was a red valve in the centre of his scalp, and coincidently, the word VALVE appeared in white lettering underneath.

The brown haired girl was frantically pressing the A button with one hand, while checking her friend's pulse with the other.

"Come on, come on!" She muttered.

Finally, the loading screen vanished; and she rapidly slammed down A, pressing START GAME without changing the default settings.

DIFFICULTY: NORMAL

CAMPAIGN: NO MERCY

CHARACTER: RANDOM

The lightly tanned girl groaned and sat up.

"Aw, I hate No Mercy. And if I have to play as Bill the pedo again I'll kill you."

Her companion relaxed, and handed Linda the controller.

"Thank goodness you're okay! Don't EVER die on me AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME?"

The black-haired girl stared at her friend before taking the controller and hitting her repeatedly with it.

"FIONA! STOP ACTING SO STUPID!"

"OW! I SAVED YOUR LIFE, STOP HITTING ME!"

"NEVER!"

And so Linda proceeded to whack Fiona while Kisame watched.

Sweat-dropping, he cleared his throat in an attempt to catch their attention. When that didn't work, he just lifted them 3 feet off the ground by their collars. The pair were silenced, while they turned to face him.

"Wha...?" Fiona started, before trailing off...

* * *

And sorry this one isn't that funny, Linda was watching the right half of the screen while I typed so I made it more dramatic. She typed a bit of it though.

Have we mentioned that we like reviews? They're totally epic by the way. Just so you know… *hint hint*


	8. Bananas!

And here is the next chapter…

* * *

In the middle of all this, Linda had decided to take a nap. When she woke up, she glared at Kisame. "I don't like being waken up like this. It makes me angreee..."

Linda started to growl and turn green.

"I'll turn you into a tuna melt!" She yelled at Kisame, swiping at his face with her base-ball bat.

"WTF! Where did you get that bat?" Kisame yelped, dropping her onto the ground, but still keeping a firm grip on Fiona.

"Mmmm, Tuna melt..." Fiona started to daydream. "Hey, wait a minute!" She suddenly yelled, looking over at Linda. "You can't just let one of us go! That's racist!"

Linda stuck her tongue out at her friend as she put her bat back into her handy-dandy invisible rucksack.

"Hmmm..." Kisame pondered. "You can be my new pet!"

Fiona gasped. "Pedo!"

Kisame suddenly yelled "BANANAS!"

**(Linda: Fiona made me say that. Not my fault.**

**Fiona: You asked me to tell you what to say! That was the first thing that came into my head :P**

**Linda: But I don't even like bananas.**

**Fiona: Don't you?**

**Linda: They're for monkeys! Now back to the story!)**

Fiona looked at Kisame with a weird stare, sending an evil aura out to him, and making him awfully cold. The shark-man shivered and dropped her. He sniffed, "I was hoping to have a pet. It's on my list," he showed them his lists of things he wanted.

1) A Sasuke plushie.

2) A pink frilly dress

3) A shiny pony

4) A pet

5) BANANAS

Linda and Fiona stared at him, and at the same time exclaimed: "Fishy Weirdo!"

Kisame pouted, with his arms crossed. He then put his list into his pocket, which was full of things you wouldn't want to see or even hear about - trust me, we're still scarred.

"You guys are mean. I hope you both will go to heaven."

"What the fud-" Linda started.

"SO IS YOUR FACE!" Fiona yelled. But just as Linda was about to slap her (again), she yelled, "OMG Left 4 Dead has started!"

Little light bulbs came above Linda's head and said, "I know, I will play Left 4 Dead!" And she hopped over to the console.

Fiona stared at her, open-mouthed. "That is SUCH good idea."

Linda glared at her. "Was that sarcasm?"

"Um...no?"

Linda went back to being cheerful again. "Okay then! But I told you, you need to hold up a sign to say if you're being sarcastic or not."

Fiona pouted. "I did! You tore it up, remember?"

"Oh yeah... I mean, I did no such thing!" Linda yelled, grabbing the controller and starting to play.

Fiona turned to Kisame. "So... Wanna go get something to eat?"

Kisame blinked at her. "Are you hitting on me?"

The blue-eyed girl stared at him. "HELL NO!" She yelled. "I SO didn't mean it like that!"

Linda glanced up from the screen. "Sorry fishy, she's already married."

"SHUT UP!" Fiona yelled, turning red (With anger!).

Kisame stared at her. "Aren't you a little... young?"

"I'm not freakin' married!" Fiona glared at Linda. "Linda is just annoyed because she likes Itachi."

"I'll KILL YOU!" Linda yelled, starting to get up.

"Um... there's zombies attacking you!" Fiona pointed at the screen desperately.

Linda turned back to the TV. "Oh sugary-monkeys..." She muttered.

Fiona sighed in relief, and turned back to Kisame, who had a questioning look on his face.

Fiona rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't hitting on you, I wanted to get something to eat because I'm hungry and Linda will be on that for ages. I'm not married, and Linda doesn't like Itachi as far as I know."

"I don't play for that long!" Linda snapped, still staring at the screen.

"Remember that time you played for 24 hours straight?"

"Okay, apart from that..."

Fiona rolled her eyes and turned back to Kisame. She opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it and turned to walk out the door.

"Wait!" Kisame cried.

Fiona turned around, alarmed. "Are you hitting on me?"

Kisame sweat-dropped. "No. But we never agreed on what to get to eat."

Fiona thought for a moment. "I know!" She proclaimed. "BANANAS!"


End file.
